Hugh Jackman

Joe Wright’s “Pan” fails to take off! Instead, it takes a plunging freefall. Have you ever seen a cake that looked so tasty you wanted to make love to it? Imagine three tiers of white, luscious, spongy goodness beckoning to you. Lovingly handcrafted marzipan petals pressed onto sweet fondant. Buttercream swirls piped onto the sides, spelling out ‘Eat me, you filthy animal’. You oblige. You sink your fork into the perfect layer of icing, and bring the heaping cake-pile to your mouth. You gag. It’s disgusting. It tastes like everything you hate about life: bills, screaming babies, and Trump running…