chinese

We get it, entertaining the visiting relatives isn’t the most enjoyable nor profitable use of your time. But really, cut them some slack – Chinese New Year doesn’t happen every day. While you’re being anti-social by reading this on your phone, let’s take a moment to imagine your relatives as monkeys (Year of the Monkey, yes?) and see if the ones we chose matched yours. Just a word of warning: if you can’t suppress your uncontrollable giggling, don’t read this out in the open where everyone can see you. We won’t be held responsible for the subsequent death glares from…

“Wah your ah boy in secondary school already ah? Heard he score very well leh. Aiyo your ah boy so smart!” “No lah no lah, he very lazy one.” For many of the larger families in Singapore, the Lunar New Year is a time of compulsory gatherings, discussed and arranged in the usual clandestine manner that middle-aged folks communicate in (i.e. hours of whispering between aunties over a landline). Planning the gathering, however, is nothing compared to being at the actual gathering. Amidst the slightly awkward dialogues and faltering false starts lie the true terror: finding a conversation starter with people you…