Longform

We get it, entertaining the visiting relatives isn’t the most enjoyable nor profitable use of your time. But really, cut them some slack – Chinese New Year doesn’t happen every day. While you’re being anti-social by reading this on your phone, let’s take a moment to imagine your relatives as monkeys (Year of the Monkey, yes?) and see if the ones we chose matched yours. Just a word of warning: if you can’t suppress your uncontrollable giggling, don’t read this out in the open where everyone can see you. We won’t be held responsible for the subsequent death glares from…

I sauntered into the grocery store, basket in one hand, shopping list in another, ready to embark on my usual therapeutic routine: shopping for my beloved groceries and jamming along to the latest Ariana Grande tune while grooving to those insane falsettos. It was then when the sirens of doom hit me. That ridiculously and blaring noise screaming through those accursed speakers; yes, I have heard them before. They are not the alluring tunes sang by mermaids to lead sailors to their doom. They are those fateful songs that play on loop to torture even the coldest of criminals, to shred…

“Wah your ah boy in secondary school already ah? Heard he score very well leh. Aiyo your ah boy so smart!” “No lah no lah, he very lazy one.” For many of the larger families in Singapore, the Lunar New Year is a time of compulsory gatherings, discussed and arranged in the usual clandestine manner that middle-aged folks communicate in (i.e. hours of whispering between aunties over a landline). Planning the gathering, however, is nothing compared to being at the actual gathering. Amidst the slightly awkward dialogues and faltering false starts lie the true terror: finding a conversation starter with people you…

Co-written with Manfred Tham If Social Media were a class, discussions about ads and its place would be an ongoing assignment. The popular selfie and brunch-photo sharing app, Instagram, recently announced plans to monetise its business through ads – sponsored posts that will appear on timelines masquerading as updates from your friends and stalkees. Naturally, the response online has been… unbridled, to say the least. It all fits into the 3 logic laws of the Internet: 1) Never click on ads that contain the words “FREE” or “Congratulations”, 2) Never read a comment section, and 3) Always complain every time there is a new…