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Humour

Our writers let loose and rant about stuff that bothers them, matters to them, or are critical in modern life. Just don’t take us too seriously.

How to be a casual racist in Singapore

How to be a casual racist in Singapore

It’s lonely living in a bubble. So what better way to quell that loneliness than to teach people the ways of the casual racist?  This article isn’t to make you into Trump, God knows we don’t need another one of him. Rather, this here is made to help you hone your ignorance and deliver an ever so slight stab of bigotry. As they say, the sharpest tongue delivers the deepest cuts. 1. Add salt to your food choices Singapore, the land of food. Walk a couple of metres either from work and home and you’ll be greeted by both the…
$54 Huawei phone promo demonstrates the power of “Kiasuism”

$54 Huawei phone promo demonstrates the power of “Kiasuism”

Ever heard of this saying in Singapore? “Hell hath no fury like an elderly scorned”. Clearly, Huawei didn’t, seeing as how they have completely botched their whole promotional event for their phones. Specifically, their whole promotion was based on the upcoming 54th National Day and was targeted at people born during or around the Merdeka generation, aptly discounting their Huawei Y6 Pro smartphone to SG$54 from its original SG$198 price. By now you must have already heard about how it has failed spectacularly, with angry uncles and aunties causing a ruckus at various Huawei stores around Singapore. Obviously, the thought…
Imagining Your Relatives As Monkeys

Imagining Your Relatives As Monkeys

We get it, entertaining the visiting relatives isn’t the most enjoyable nor profitable use of your time. But really, cut them some slack – Chinese New Year doesn’t happen every day. While you’re being anti-social by reading this on your phone, let’s take a moment to imagine your relatives as monkeys (Year of the Monkey, yes?) and see if the ones we chose matched yours. Just a word of warning: if you can’t suppress your uncontrollable giggling, don’t read this out in the open where everyone can see you. We won’t be held responsible for the subsequent death glares from…
New Year, New You, Same Old CNY

New Year, New You, Same Old CNY

I sauntered into the grocery store, basket in one hand, shopping list in another, ready to embark on my usual therapeutic routine: shopping for my beloved groceries and jamming along to the latest Ariana Grande tune while grooving to those insane falsettos. It was then when the sirens of doom hit me. That ridiculously and blaring noise screaming through those accursed speakers; yes, I have heard them before. They are not the alluring tunes sang by mermaids to lead sailors to their doom. They are those fateful songs that play on loop to torture even the coldest of criminals, to shred…
On Instagram Ads And Why We Should All Suck It Up

On Instagram Ads And Why We Should All Suck It Up

Co-written with Manfred Tham If Social Media were a class, discussions about ads and its place would be an ongoing assignment. The popular selfie and brunch-photo sharing app, Instagram, recently announced plans to monetise its business through ads – sponsored posts that will appear on timelines masquerading as updates from your friends and stalkees. Naturally, the response online has been… unbridled, to say the least. It all fits into the 3 logic laws of the Internet: 1) Never click on ads that contain the words “FREE” or “Congratulations”, 2) Never read a comment section, and 3) Always complain every time there is a new…
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